Sorry for not updating until now. Just another busy week!
So last weekend while in Kentucky we got to do a lot of super fun things. Visited a bunch of Good Wills and picked up some adorable clothes to add to my wardrobe. Ate at some amazing restaurants. Yum.
There were tons of ridiculously crazy people at my niece's graduation.
We went to this cool ferry on the river that can take three cars across at a time. The guy working was super cool and let us even get up and walk around to take pictures.
Had a little party with amazing grilled food for my niece's graduation. Afterward we went to a local carnival where my sister and I just walked around people watched.
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Then there's this weekend. So much fun with the boyfriend. We left at about 8 a.m. for Louisiana Friday morning. We got a bit lost but tons of fun talking and sight seeing.
Pulling into the stake center was so amazing because the first thing you see is the temple. It was like the size of my church building at home. So small. The stake center looked twice as big.
I got to see my friend. She was so beautiful and amazing. I wish I could have spent more time with her but I still felt special knowing she was still blowing off some of her other guests to talk to me.
I really wanted to cry. She really was beautiful and all grown up. I felt like a nothing compared to my best friend standing there in all her beautiful bride glory. Oh well. Maybe I'll be there someday.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Temple Symbolism
Last night I ran across a blog for "Mormon Boy". I discovered he was an excommunicated LDS because of his open homosexuality. He no longer believes the church is true and was openly mocking all that goes on inside the temple. He was going to publish all this in a book.
I was hurt and confused, even by the things he said that did happen in the temple. I was unsure and decided to search more on the temple. I found a forum of ex-Mormons who were talking about the temple. I was even more confused and nervous about what people were saying really happened in the temple. After reading their words, why in the world would I ever feel comfortable going though a wedding or take out my endowments in the temple.
I prayed before bed. I was hurt, confused, and feeling uncomfortable. I asked Heavenly Father to give me comfort, to help me understand.
This morning I googled "preparing to enter the temple" and found this talk. Maybe a fourth of the way in did I really find what I needed.
"Before going to the temple for the first time, or even after many times, it may help you to realize that the teaching of the temples is done in symbolic fashion. The Lord, the Master Teacher, gave much of His instruction in this way...
"We live in a world of symbols. We know nothing, except by symbols. We make a few marks on a sheet of paper, and we say that they form a word, which stands for love, or hate, or charity, or God or eternity. The marks may not be very beautiful to the eye. No one finds fault with the symbols on the pages of a book because they are not as mighty in their own beauty as the things which they represent. We do not quarrel with the symbol G-o-d because it is not very beautiful, yet represents the majesty of God. We are glad to have symbols, if only the meaning of the symbols is brought home to us...
"We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. (“Temple Worship,” page 62.)"
It was this that really struck me. I belong to a sorority where we have our own ritual. Things are done in private and are sacred to us. Many of the things that happen during our ritual are symbolic. Our founders left it open to interpretation to each and every member, past, present, and future. No one knows if there was a specific meaning meant to come out of it, but each member interprets it their own way and it means something different to each and every one of us.
I relate this to the temple. I know I haven't been through but after reading about it I feel that I can relate the two. Things that go on in the temple are sacred, too. Things in the temple are all symbolic. No one know exactly what is meant of them but we interpret to an understanding that we can relate to personally. If we aren't prepared to enter the temple and look at the things that go on as symbols then we aren't getting what we need from the temple.
The people and their experiences that I read about were not prepared to enter the temple. They looked at everything too literal. We have to prepare ourselves to look beyond what is really happening to see the symbolism that will direct our lives.
I'm glad that Heavenly Father listens to me and can answer my prayers. This definitely brought my mind to ease. I'm glad that he tests me. I could have easily stopped reading that talk (it's ridiculously long) before reaching what would really touch me. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father and all that he does for me.
I was hurt and confused, even by the things he said that did happen in the temple. I was unsure and decided to search more on the temple. I found a forum of ex-Mormons who were talking about the temple. I was even more confused and nervous about what people were saying really happened in the temple. After reading their words, why in the world would I ever feel comfortable going though a wedding or take out my endowments in the temple.
I prayed before bed. I was hurt, confused, and feeling uncomfortable. I asked Heavenly Father to give me comfort, to help me understand.
This morning I googled "preparing to enter the temple" and found this talk. Maybe a fourth of the way in did I really find what I needed.
"Before going to the temple for the first time, or even after many times, it may help you to realize that the teaching of the temples is done in symbolic fashion. The Lord, the Master Teacher, gave much of His instruction in this way...
"We live in a world of symbols. We know nothing, except by symbols. We make a few marks on a sheet of paper, and we say that they form a word, which stands for love, or hate, or charity, or God or eternity. The marks may not be very beautiful to the eye. No one finds fault with the symbols on the pages of a book because they are not as mighty in their own beauty as the things which they represent. We do not quarrel with the symbol G-o-d because it is not very beautiful, yet represents the majesty of God. We are glad to have symbols, if only the meaning of the symbols is brought home to us...
"We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. (“Temple Worship,” page 62.)"
It was this that really struck me. I belong to a sorority where we have our own ritual. Things are done in private and are sacred to us. Many of the things that happen during our ritual are symbolic. Our founders left it open to interpretation to each and every member, past, present, and future. No one knows if there was a specific meaning meant to come out of it, but each member interprets it their own way and it means something different to each and every one of us.
I relate this to the temple. I know I haven't been through but after reading about it I feel that I can relate the two. Things that go on in the temple are sacred, too. Things in the temple are all symbolic. No one know exactly what is meant of them but we interpret to an understanding that we can relate to personally. If we aren't prepared to enter the temple and look at the things that go on as symbols then we aren't getting what we need from the temple.
The people and their experiences that I read about were not prepared to enter the temple. They looked at everything too literal. We have to prepare ourselves to look beyond what is really happening to see the symbolism that will direct our lives.
I'm glad that Heavenly Father listens to me and can answer my prayers. This definitely brought my mind to ease. I'm glad that he tests me. I could have easily stopped reading that talk (it's ridiculously long) before reaching what would really touch me. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father and all that he does for me.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sad Face
I figured I'd split posts about the last two days into two posts so it won't be so long to read.
I had a bit of a breakdown about the boyfriend yesterday. So we'll start with the bad and work our way to the good.
I managed to find a brand spankin' new job posting for the school and quickly informed him about it via text. He replies by asking me to fill it out for him and I happily obliged. I did not realize all the info I would really need from him so I just called. He was barely listening to me even after asking him several times to give me one of his reference's numbers. It very well could have been all the storms interfering with reception but I was still very frustrated. He eventually called me back and said he would just fill it out the next day. I still don't know if he did, I hope he did.
But this kind of attitude is really starting to bother me. "Oh, I'll just do it tomorrow" kind of attitude. He needs a job. Putting it off until tomorrow is not helping. He passes up even small jobs with the excuse that it won't give him enough hours. Then just get another job along with it! A job is a job and money is money. If he has a job, even if it's not covering everything, it'll be a lot easier for others to want to help him out and he could probably cover up that last little bit of money he owes a lot easier. It's all very frustrating. Especially knowing that I've lent him $100 already to cover his bills from last month and now I'm left paying the entire TV bill, that I'm not even watching until July.
I've pestered him a lot about saving more money and setting a budget. He kept telling me he would, but I just kept seeing him go off and splurge on some new video game or what not. I would be fine with this if it was like a $20 game every paycheck, but he was spending like $70+ every paycheck on movies, games, etc. He could have saved that money for a crisis like now.
I understand being upset over losing your job and having the trouble of finding a new one, especially in a college town, but I wish he would try his best to take care of the rest of his life. The last time I visited, only a week after being gone from school, his apartment was already a pit, worse than I've ever seen it. I'm left wondering if this is just him being a bachelor or just him, especially after feeling like I was the one always cleaning the place before.
All of these attitudes and behaviors I've seen from him have left me wondering if this is somone I really want to marry. I'm worried that I'll be the one left having to work all the time. Not that I have an issue with being the one who brings the income, but I don't want to feel like I have to be the one to always work. I'm afraid that I'll be the one always having to clean because he'll be too lazy to remember or care until last minute. And I'm definitely scared about money and budgeting.
I talked with my sister about how I could get him to clean more. I mean, if I set up a schedule for cleaning between the two of us for his apartment, how do I enforce it? As my sister suggested, I could tell him that if he doesn't do his share for the day or the week that I'll just stay at my own place without him.
It's just frustrating feeling like I have to discipline him or something. I hate feeling like I'm taking care of a child.
Maybe this is just a phase and it'll pass soon, or maybe I'll figure out soon that he's not the one I'm supposed to marry. Either way I hope everything works out.
I had a bit of a breakdown about the boyfriend yesterday. So we'll start with the bad and work our way to the good.
I managed to find a brand spankin' new job posting for the school and quickly informed him about it via text. He replies by asking me to fill it out for him and I happily obliged. I did not realize all the info I would really need from him so I just called. He was barely listening to me even after asking him several times to give me one of his reference's numbers. It very well could have been all the storms interfering with reception but I was still very frustrated. He eventually called me back and said he would just fill it out the next day. I still don't know if he did, I hope he did.
But this kind of attitude is really starting to bother me. "Oh, I'll just do it tomorrow" kind of attitude. He needs a job. Putting it off until tomorrow is not helping. He passes up even small jobs with the excuse that it won't give him enough hours. Then just get another job along with it! A job is a job and money is money. If he has a job, even if it's not covering everything, it'll be a lot easier for others to want to help him out and he could probably cover up that last little bit of money he owes a lot easier. It's all very frustrating. Especially knowing that I've lent him $100 already to cover his bills from last month and now I'm left paying the entire TV bill, that I'm not even watching until July.
I've pestered him a lot about saving more money and setting a budget. He kept telling me he would, but I just kept seeing him go off and splurge on some new video game or what not. I would be fine with this if it was like a $20 game every paycheck, but he was spending like $70+ every paycheck on movies, games, etc. He could have saved that money for a crisis like now.
I understand being upset over losing your job and having the trouble of finding a new one, especially in a college town, but I wish he would try his best to take care of the rest of his life. The last time I visited, only a week after being gone from school, his apartment was already a pit, worse than I've ever seen it. I'm left wondering if this is just him being a bachelor or just him, especially after feeling like I was the one always cleaning the place before.
All of these attitudes and behaviors I've seen from him have left me wondering if this is somone I really want to marry. I'm worried that I'll be the one left having to work all the time. Not that I have an issue with being the one who brings the income, but I don't want to feel like I have to be the one to always work. I'm afraid that I'll be the one always having to clean because he'll be too lazy to remember or care until last minute. And I'm definitely scared about money and budgeting.
I talked with my sister about how I could get him to clean more. I mean, if I set up a schedule for cleaning between the two of us for his apartment, how do I enforce it? As my sister suggested, I could tell him that if he doesn't do his share for the day or the week that I'll just stay at my own place without him.
It's just frustrating feeling like I have to discipline him or something. I hate feeling like I'm taking care of a child.
Maybe this is just a phase and it'll pass soon, or maybe I'll figure out soon that he's not the one I'm supposed to marry. Either way I hope everything works out.
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