YSA Conference

So I have lots and lots to update about, but I'll just start off with the YSA Conference.

Tons of fun! And I really enjoyed the lessons/workshops we had.

I met some really awesome guys during the Speed Dating activity, but I couldn't ever find them afterward and obviously I didn't make a big enough impression on them for them to find me. Lame. :(

I did meet one really super awesome guy, too bad he was WAY more into my sister than me. Also lame.

I was very frustrated with my friend Sam*. I used to think she was an extrovert until this conference. She didn't want to randomly talk with people or go out of her way to meet new people. She clung to me and my sister for the majority of the conference and always wanted to leave early. She was such a downer and I feel like I could've met more people if I hadn't had to deal with her. It was still nice getting to catch up with her.

I have some serious confusion about another guy though. Dane* goes to school at my university. I'm not really best friends with him or anything and have barely spent time with him in the past. He's had a girlfriend for so long so I never really pushed the idea of hanging out or even dating him while I was single. He's super nice though and very down to earth and not overly conservative. I love talking with him when I get the chance.
Well, at the conference I saw him a few times and he really just said hi and asked how I was. Apparently though, he kept running into my sister. It seemed like every time he saw her he was telling her to tell me that he missed me and what-not. It just seemed like he was more zealous about me when talking to someone else, than to me. What does this mean though? Does he secretly like my sister and that's the connection he has to attempt to talk to her? Or is really interested in me and too nervous to show it? Or does he really not care and just wants to be nice? Ugh, boys.




P.S. Remember Jessica from this post? I forgot to update sooner about her, but the week after that dinner, she showed up at our ward with a guy.Turns out the guy was her boyfriend. Um... wat? Trying to flirt hardcore with other boys to really have a boyfriend. Ok, I know, I have a boyfriend, too, but I'm trying THAT hard to flirt.

Weekends

Sorry for not updating until now. Just another busy week!

So last weekend while in Kentucky we got to do a lot of super fun things. Visited a bunch of Good Wills and picked up some adorable clothes to add to my wardrobe. Ate at some amazing restaurants. Yum.

There were tons of ridiculously crazy people at my niece's graduation.

We went to this cool ferry on the river that can take three cars across at a time. The guy working was super cool and let us even get up and walk around to take pictures.

Had a little party with amazing grilled food for my niece's graduation. Afterward we went to a local carnival where my sister and I just walked around people watched.

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Then there's this weekend. So much fun with the boyfriend. We left at about 8 a.m. for Louisiana Friday morning. We got a bit lost but tons of fun talking and sight seeing.

Pulling into the stake center was so amazing because the first thing you see is the temple. It was like the size of my church building at home. So small. The stake center looked twice as big.

I got to see my friend. She was so beautiful and amazing. I wish I could have spent more time with her but I still felt special knowing she was still blowing off some of her other guests to talk to me.
I really wanted to cry. She really was beautiful and all grown up. I felt like a nothing compared to my best friend standing there in all her beautiful bride glory. Oh well. Maybe I'll be there someday.

Temple Symbolism

Last night I ran across a blog for "Mormon Boy". I discovered he was an excommunicated LDS because of his open homosexuality. He no longer believes the church is true and was openly mocking all that goes on inside the temple. He was going to publish all this in a book.
I was hurt and confused, even by the things he said that did happen in the temple. I was unsure and decided to search more on the temple. I found a forum of ex-Mormons who were talking about the temple. I was even more confused and nervous about what people were saying really happened in the temple. After reading their words, why in the world would I ever feel comfortable going though a wedding or take out my endowments in the temple.

I prayed before bed. I was hurt, confused, and feeling uncomfortable. I asked Heavenly Father to give me comfort, to help me understand.
This morning I googled "preparing to enter the temple" and found this talk. Maybe a fourth of the way in did I really find what I needed.

"Before going to the temple for the first time, or even after many times, it may help you to realize that the teaching of the temples is done in symbolic fashion. The Lord, the Master Teacher, gave much of His instruction in this way...

"We live in a world of symbols. We know nothing, except by symbols. We make a few marks on a sheet of paper, and we say that they form a word, which stands for love, or hate, or charity, or God or eternity. The marks may not be very beautiful to the eye. No one finds fault with the symbols on the pages of a book because they are not as mighty in their own beauty as the things which they represent. We do not quarrel with the symbol G-o-d because it is not very beautiful, yet represents the majesty of God. We are glad to have symbols, if only the meaning of the symbols is brought home to us...

"We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. (“Temple Worship,” page 62.)"

It was this that really struck me. I belong to a sorority where we have our own ritual. Things are done in private and are sacred to us. Many of the things that happen during our ritual are symbolic. Our founders left it open to interpretation to each and every member, past, present, and future. No one knows if there was a specific meaning meant to come out of it, but each member interprets it their own way and it means something different to each and every one of us.

I relate this to the temple. I know I haven't been through but after reading about it I feel that I can relate the two. Things that go on in the temple are sacred, too. Things in the temple are all symbolic. No one know exactly what is meant of them but we interpret to an understanding that we can relate to personally. If we aren't prepared to enter the temple and look at the things that go on as symbols then we aren't getting what we need from the temple.

The people and their experiences that I read about were not prepared to enter the temple. They looked at everything too literal. We have to prepare ourselves to look beyond what is really happening to see the symbolism that will direct our lives.

I'm glad that Heavenly Father listens to me and can answer my prayers. This definitely brought my mind to ease. I'm glad that he tests me. I could have easily stopped reading that talk (it's ridiculously long) before reaching what would really touch me. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father and all that he does for me.

Growing up as a Mormon

So I'm starting to realize that I was uber sheltered as a child (and still seems that my parents try to shelter me), even for someone raised LDS.

Another kid told me my first curse word (the F word) in 5th grade, and even then I still didn't know what she was talking about.
I didn't even say my first curse word on purpose until I was like 15.
Only until recently, I'm 21 mind you, did my dad stop chastising me about saying the words "crap" and "sucks".

My parents wouldn't let us watch anything sexual and even "blocked" MTV growing up. I never got "the talk". I pretty much knew what sex was, but I never got any real discussion about sex until 7th grade sex ed class.

Anything caffeinated was/is taboo in our household. My mother throws a fit just knowing there's a caffeinated coke in her house. She tries to act like it's a commandment that we don't drink caffeine and I've called her out on it several times about how it's not actually against our religion or anything and there was even an apostle or prophet or something who drank a Mountain Dew to prove a point about this. She just completely ignores me.

I started wearing shorter shorts and skirts around age 15 and my mother about had a heart attack. Jeez. My skirts and shorts were still past my fingertips. She had the same feeling about anything sleeveless I wore, even if the straps were the width of my hand.

Heaven forbid I ever wear anything except a full one piece swimsuit. I thought I killed her when I bought a two piece for tanning.

Pretty sure I would kill her if I came straight out and told her everything I do or have done.

It just seems that I keep finding more and more people who were raised in the church but obviously raised completely different. I hope that I never shelter my children as much as I was sheltered...