Blogging

I recently started thinking more about the idea of blogging. The average blogger only blogs for themselves, friends, and/or family. So why is it that so many others out there that stumble across a blog they don't care for continue to read it and then complain to everyone else why they don't like it? It's not your blog, so if you don't like it, don't read it. And why is it necessary to tell everyone else on the internet not to read it? Not sure why it matters, that blogger is more than likely going to continue to blog anyway. It's not like they're using valuable interwebz space. It's a different story if a blogger is writing for a company or business and is not giving correct information. But when someone is a personal blogger, it really doesn't matter. The internet doesn't matter! Get over it! Blargh. /end rant

Here's a picture of a hedgehog swimming.

Neglect

I feel bad that almost everything I post about my boyfriend is negative, which this will be another one. But maybe I just don't have that much positive anymore from our relationship.

I've been feeling really neglected lately by him. I work all day, typically much longer than him. Sometimes when I come home I just want to relax and cuddle with him, but he just seems distant and doesn't really care. I'm starting to see how he felt this past year about how I'm sure I treated him. I'm sure I deserve some of this, but I'm really upset over the last couple of days.

I've been telling the boyfriend since mid-week last week that I wanted to go watch the Perseids Meteor Shower this past weekend. I reminded him several times the day of as well. I told him I'd take a nap and we could leave at midnight, since I had to be up for work Monday morning. When I woke up, there were several other friends of his over (mind you, we were at his apartment). Boyfriend told me we probably wouldn't see much because of the storm that had come through. I was disappointed. I went outside anyway. Turns out I could see like 80% of the sky still. I layed in the parking lot and saw just one meteor. I went back in to see if we could still go. He said he didn't really want to drive out on wet roads, which weren't very wet, or get caught in the storm, which the storm had already completely passed. I was upset and hurt that I he had told me before that we would go and now he was telling me no.

Then the next night I went over to his place to hang out and we sat outside with one of our friends for a while to wait for another friend. I brought up the meteor shower and he responded with an apology about how he didn't expect us to have company that night when we did. That was not an excuse he brought up the night before and when I called him on it, he ignored me and continued in a conversation with our friend. I was even more mad that he was now ignoring me about something that had been so important to me. I was just so frustrated that I felt like he was just making up excuses so he could hang out with his other friends and not me. He did something very similar with the solar eclipse a few months ago, and that also was really important to me that he blew me off.

I'm just so tired of feeling like anything that's important to me is less important than what he wants to do. It's just rude and annoying and I feel like I get taken advantage of a lot by him. I'm tired of him inviting me to hang out and then basically ignoring me or sending me off to do my own thing because I don't want to play Magic with him and his friends when he already knows it.

I'm just tired of feeling like I'm in a relationship that doesn't matter.

Wednesday Whatever - Hedgehog

I don't think I've mentioned the latest addition to my family, Nova the hedgehog! The boyfriend and I were discussing pets one day and were listing off different animals. I was like, "Oh hey! What about a hedgehog?" and he was all like, "OMG! Yes!"

So I randomly decided to check Craigslist, and sure enough, someone was selling their four month old hedgehog! We met up one day in a nearby city and made the exchange, like a drug deal going on right in front of a gas station. The lady who was selling him was selling the hedgehog and their parrot so that her daughter could get a pet pig. Sounds to me like this daughter is a bit spoiled. Maybe not if the daughter had to give up two other pets. *shrug* She told me that her daughter named him Casanova because he was born on Valentine's Day. It was cute, but way cliche so the boyfriend and I just call him Nova.

I have plenty of crazy stories about him. For something so small, he's quite the trouble maker.

One time we let him out to play around the living room. He found his way under an arm chair. Our furniture doesn't have netting under them. There's a ledge just at the base of the chair that he climbed on and I figured he'd be alright. Next thing I know he's climbed all the way up into the top of the arm of the chair. The boyfriend and I are left with lifting up the chair so that he can pull Nova out of the chair. It's safe to say I have now "hedgie-proofed" that arm chair with duct tape.

Lately he's been having wild parties at night without me. The other day, I found him sleeping in his food bowl, see picture below:

About twenty minutes later, I hear him munching away. lol

Yesterday morning, I woke up to find his "cage" (his cage is just a rather large plastic tub) completely trashed. I couldn't find his bowl (which is some pretty thick/heavy glass) until I realized it was on the far side of his wheel hidden in the bedding. All the food had been dumped out. His water bottle was completely out of the hooks that support it and it was laying in the bedding. His pringles can tube was halfway across his cage as well. I just. I don't even.

Enjoy some more pictures of my havoc wreaking hedgie, though!

Isn't he just adorable!?

He LOVES to run. He'll literally run for hours on this thing, he get's pretty fast, too.

He's ran so much/fast that he's literally knocked the wheel off of the stand.

He's just so cute! :D

But really a big trouble maker. :P

-Justine

Friends?

I know I need to post something, but I can't think of anything worthwhile. I should probably look up some writing/journal prompts to start using. Any suggestions?

The job has been getting better and I'm feeling a lot less overwhelmed. I still have things pop up that drive me crazy though. My coworkers are quite hilarious though and I especially love the new dean. I'm going to miss our ice cream get-togethers now that regular hours are back.

I've been helping my boyfriend move to his new apartment. I feel terrible realizing that a majority of his closet was my stuff though. Oops.

I'm getting into this weird slump again though, maybe because of work now. I just feel like I'm not doing anything productive, which I'm really not, but I can't think of anything to really do with myself.
I feel sorry for myself because I really don't have many friends here. I have people I talk to and hang out with on occasion, but I don't really have anyone here that I find myself going out of my way to contact and go do things with and talk seriously about what going on in our lives.
 I joined a sorority and hoped that I'd get lasting friendships from that, but I'm quickly realizing nothing really lasted from that. People I thought I was once close to are no longer here or I've realized we were never really close. It makes me feel even more like a loser.
Most of all my time is spent with my boyfriend. He's the only person I talk to and hang out with on a regular basis. I really do feel like a loner. Ugh, I have no life. I wish there were more clubs/organizations and activities around here that interested me. I want to get involved with something, but it's hard when everything is geared towards the college students. I'm such an introvert. Why must it be so hard to find good friends?

-Justine

What Could

Really though, I hate that everything reminds me of him...

Here I am just trying to set a wake up playlist and I run across OUR song. He went too early and I hate it. I'm constantly left wondering what it would be like if he was still here. I kind of miss our relationship. I wonder if things could have been different between us. I still have the promise ring he gave me.

It's hard and I wish it didn't happen. I wonder if anyone realizes how I've really been feeling since I found out. I have a lot of good things going for me right now, but I'm still hurt and I miss him.

I want him here to crack jokes and comfort me...

Wednesday Whatever

Since my posts have been pretty boring, what with no pictures and all, I decided I'd entertain you with some of my instagram work photos.

My predecessor wrote notes for a lot of work stuff, but also left fun doodles like this.

My first day was spent mostly with two books, this book here, and facebook.

My typical breakfast, the breakfast of champions.

I had some more photos, but I realized they had my real name/address in them, but I do have my own business cards! :D

-Justine

Adjusting

It's weird having a full time job already. I'll admit I was really not expecting to land a full time job this soon. I was just so dead set on not moving back home after school, that I really didn't care what I got a job doing. I could clean cars and mow lawns if that's what it took to pay the bills. I'm not a proud person.

I wonder sometimes what it would be like still living at home with my parents though. My sister moved back home after her graduation and wasn't able to find work for like three years and has only had her job for over a year now. She's soon to be in her own apartment, but I don't think I could survive that long at home now. I butt heads with my parents too much now and have way too many conflicting views/opinions with my mother. My mom and I are both very stubborn and I think we've both learned when to pick our battles, but things still come up...

It's definitely strange though trying to adjust to working 40 hours and having way less time at home. Not like I had a whole lot of personal free time during school, but it was still more time at home working than now.

I'm worried about this job though and how long I'll last/survive. I have problems with leaving work at work. I always stress about work at home. I really need more planned activities to distract me when I'm away from work. If any of you have ideas on how to leave work at work and not think about it as much, please, feel free to tell me all about your ideas! :D

~Justine