Neglect

I feel bad that almost everything I post about my boyfriend is negative, which this will be another one. But maybe I just don't have that much positive anymore from our relationship.

I've been feeling really neglected lately by him. I work all day, typically much longer than him. Sometimes when I come home I just want to relax and cuddle with him, but he just seems distant and doesn't really care. I'm starting to see how he felt this past year about how I'm sure I treated him. I'm sure I deserve some of this, but I'm really upset over the last couple of days.

I've been telling the boyfriend since mid-week last week that I wanted to go watch the Perseids Meteor Shower this past weekend. I reminded him several times the day of as well. I told him I'd take a nap and we could leave at midnight, since I had to be up for work Monday morning. When I woke up, there were several other friends of his over (mind you, we were at his apartment). Boyfriend told me we probably wouldn't see much because of the storm that had come through. I was disappointed. I went outside anyway. Turns out I could see like 80% of the sky still. I layed in the parking lot and saw just one meteor. I went back in to see if we could still go. He said he didn't really want to drive out on wet roads, which weren't very wet, or get caught in the storm, which the storm had already completely passed. I was upset and hurt that I he had told me before that we would go and now he was telling me no.

Then the next night I went over to his place to hang out and we sat outside with one of our friends for a while to wait for another friend. I brought up the meteor shower and he responded with an apology about how he didn't expect us to have company that night when we did. That was not an excuse he brought up the night before and when I called him on it, he ignored me and continued in a conversation with our friend. I was even more mad that he was now ignoring me about something that had been so important to me. I was just so frustrated that I felt like he was just making up excuses so he could hang out with his other friends and not me. He did something very similar with the solar eclipse a few months ago, and that also was really important to me that he blew me off.

I'm just so tired of feeling like anything that's important to me is less important than what he wants to do. It's just rude and annoying and I feel like I get taken advantage of a lot by him. I'm tired of him inviting me to hang out and then basically ignoring me or sending me off to do my own thing because I don't want to play Magic with him and his friends when he already knows it.

I'm just tired of feeling like I'm in a relationship that doesn't matter.