Better than Mediocrity

I'm starting to realize that people are not as perfect as I ever thought, even Latter Day Saints. I assumed everyone was so perfect, but the more I read, the more I see, the more I realize that everyone hides things. Everyone has their secrets. No one is perfect. It makes me feel more hopeful about myself. I'm not just some freak or outcast that's going nowhere.

I'm still in an awkward spot with the boyfriend, even though he probably doesn't know it. It seems the more time I spend away from him, the more I time I spend really contemplating our relationship as a whole and where it's really going. The more I wonder if this is really right for me. I wanna get out now, but I'm still so attached. I want to make things work. I know there's issues on both sides that the the two of us need to work on and I'm willing to try. I'm not one to just give up. I want to try. I'm just starting to feel that he doesn't want to. He's said to me before that he doesn't want me to change. Sorry, but people do change. It's up to us to either reject or accept that change and choose to move with it or let it go. I feel that he doesn't understand this and doesn't understand that I want to improve myself. I'm not entirely happy with myself right now. I need to make changes. I need improvement and I need someone who wants me to be my best. I want someone who is willing to accept that I can be more than mediocre. Even if he thinks I'm the best already, he should be willing to understand that better can always be done.