I'm starting to realize that people are not as perfect as I ever thought, even Latter Day Saints. I assumed everyone was so perfect, but the more I read, the more I see, the more I realize that everyone hides things. Everyone has their secrets. No one is perfect. It makes me feel more hopeful about myself. I'm not just some freak or outcast that's going nowhere.
I'm still in an awkward spot with the boyfriend, even though he probably doesn't know it. It seems the more time I spend away from him, the more I time I spend really contemplating our relationship as a whole and where it's really going. The more I wonder if this is really right for me. I wanna get out now, but I'm still so attached. I want to make things work. I know there's issues on both sides that the the two of us need to work on and I'm willing to try. I'm not one to just give up. I want to try. I'm just starting to feel that he doesn't want to. He's said to me before that he doesn't want me to change. Sorry, but people do change. It's up to us to either reject or accept that change and choose to move with it or let it go. I feel that he doesn't understand this and doesn't understand that I want to improve myself. I'm not entirely happy with myself right now. I need to make changes. I need improvement and I need someone who wants me to be my best. I want someone who is willing to accept that I can be more than mediocre. Even if he thinks I'm the best already, he should be willing to understand that better can always be done.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Babblings and Bumbles
I really should blog more often. Not that I have a life that matters or that I even had time this semester.
To be honest, I barely had any free time for anything this fall semester. I had no motivation to take photos on my own time or anything. And lately, all I've wanted to do is sleep. I slept through a lot of finals week and pushed studying for finals and working on projects until the last minute. My boyfriend actually asked me if I might be depressed. I told him no, but I'm not really sure what I think.
I kind of think this semester just wore me out. I have this underlying drive to go out and do something, but I don't know what, yet I sleep half the day away and sit on my butt playing computer games. That's basically what my break has been comprised of so far. I have a lot I want to accomplish over the break but no real motivation to do it for some reason. Maybe I am depressed, but I hate thinking that. I already consider myself an acute hypochondriac, and my sister suffers from depression so I hate to feel I might have the same issues. And I especially don't want my parents knowing if I am.
Everything's so frustrating right now. I have a semester left of school and I'm left trying to figure out now what I want to do when I graduate. My options are as follows, 1.) Move back home with parents, 2.) Find a job at home and move into an apartment with my sister, 3.) Go to grad school, and 4.) Work my butt off and through a million complications to open an art supply store in my college town.
Option four is what I really want, but I'm not sure if it's really going to work out for me. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it's meant to be with me and my boyfriend. Take the following example for instance:
I started some internship work on Thursday at a wedding reception. I looked at how beautiful and happy the couple was. I thought about how much I wanted that for myself. I kept trying to envision my boyfriend proposing or us together like that at our wedding reception. I don't think I thought about him and I as much as I did about just me being happy with someone. When I got home and talked to him, I wanted to tell him how I felt, but after a few minutes, that happy feeling subsided and I didn't even want to discuss it with him let alone tease him about proposing. I can't imagine my life without him, but I'm starting to wonder if I can imagine the rest of my life with him.
Sorry this turned out more about my boyfriend issues, but I'll try my best to update more often.
To be honest, I barely had any free time for anything this fall semester. I had no motivation to take photos on my own time or anything. And lately, all I've wanted to do is sleep. I slept through a lot of finals week and pushed studying for finals and working on projects until the last minute. My boyfriend actually asked me if I might be depressed. I told him no, but I'm not really sure what I think.
I kind of think this semester just wore me out. I have this underlying drive to go out and do something, but I don't know what, yet I sleep half the day away and sit on my butt playing computer games. That's basically what my break has been comprised of so far. I have a lot I want to accomplish over the break but no real motivation to do it for some reason. Maybe I am depressed, but I hate thinking that. I already consider myself an acute hypochondriac, and my sister suffers from depression so I hate to feel I might have the same issues. And I especially don't want my parents knowing if I am.
Everything's so frustrating right now. I have a semester left of school and I'm left trying to figure out now what I want to do when I graduate. My options are as follows, 1.) Move back home with parents, 2.) Find a job at home and move into an apartment with my sister, 3.) Go to grad school, and 4.) Work my butt off and through a million complications to open an art supply store in my college town.
Option four is what I really want, but I'm not sure if it's really going to work out for me. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it's meant to be with me and my boyfriend. Take the following example for instance:
I started some internship work on Thursday at a wedding reception. I looked at how beautiful and happy the couple was. I thought about how much I wanted that for myself. I kept trying to envision my boyfriend proposing or us together like that at our wedding reception. I don't think I thought about him and I as much as I did about just me being happy with someone. When I got home and talked to him, I wanted to tell him how I felt, but after a few minutes, that happy feeling subsided and I didn't even want to discuss it with him let alone tease him about proposing. I can't imagine my life without him, but I'm starting to wonder if I can imagine the rest of my life with him.
Sorry this turned out more about my boyfriend issues, but I'll try my best to update more often.
Friday, October 7, 2011
High-Waisted
Shirt- Rainbow
Shorts- Thrifted
Necklace- Rue21
Belt- Previously owned (Walmart?)
Shoes- Previously owned
So this is the first time I've worn these, as well as the first high-waisted shorts I've worn since middle school. I bought them at a local thrift store for like $2. I was stoked. I'm especially stoked about the fact that they hide my muffin top well.
I've always wanted a pair of high-waisted shorts but I always have issues finding a pair that doesn't accentuate the fact that I have a little extra padding around the middle. Hopefully, I can find a few more pairs that will fit me this well. :)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Disasters of a Coffee Adict
So I don't update often, sorry. I just got a new phone though! A smart phone in fact. I just downloaded an app to help me update on the go. Hopefully, you'll see some more updates from me now.
So, I've been falling in love with coffee. So much that I spent a good chunk of my school food points on lattes. :P You know that song, Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg? I feel that describes my love for coffee. Lol
Well, after realizing I was spending a lot of money on coffee and running out of flex points, I decided to finally figure out my boyfriend's espresso machine. I was finally starting to understand its workings when unfortunate events happened.
I knocked the carafe off the counter and it SHATTERED. :(
I'll insert a picture of the shattered state later.
So, now I owe my boyfriend a new espresso carafe.
I do feel plenty excited over the fact that I did finally buy my own four cup coffee maker. :)
It may not be as delicious as my Starbucks lattes, but they satisfy. :)
So, I've been falling in love with coffee. So much that I spent a good chunk of my school food points on lattes. :P You know that song, Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg? I feel that describes my love for coffee. Lol
Well, after realizing I was spending a lot of money on coffee and running out of flex points, I decided to finally figure out my boyfriend's espresso machine. I was finally starting to understand its workings when unfortunate events happened.
I knocked the carafe off the counter and it SHATTERED. :(
I'll insert a picture of the shattered state later.
So, now I owe my boyfriend a new espresso carafe.
I do feel plenty excited over the fact that I did finally buy my own four cup coffee maker. :)
It may not be as delicious as my Starbucks lattes, but they satisfy. :)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Procrastination Begins
Ugh. A week and a half into school and I'm already not feeling it. I'm stretched really thin between my upper level major classes and all my extra-curricular activities and offices. I just want someone else to do it for me. :/ But I wouldn't grow from my experiences if I did that, would I? Or would I? :] Lol. j/k
So of course I'm procrastinating my current 3 assignments that are due tomorrow to update my blog!
But really though, here's my work load as of late:
1. Fliers for AOII recruitment
2. Fliers for I Spy a Pi
3. Fliers for RHA General meetings
4. Fliers for RHA'S Magic the Gathering Draft
5. Two journal responses for Comparative Religion
6. Response to letter to the editor for Publication Design
7. Accounting homework
8. Word list and color list for first project in Publication Design
9. Chapter meeting on Mondays
10. Philanthropy meeting on Wednesday
11. Work on Wednesdays
12. ERC meeting on Wednesday
13. RHA General meeting on Thursdays
And that about wraps it up for this week.
And people wonder why I can't make them a flier in a day...
Classes!
Accounting: Eh, ok. Kind of boring so I'm struggling to follow anything just because I'm so bored.
Yoga: My teacher's a hoot. She used the phrase, "it was the bomb dot com." And her ring tone is a barking dog. :)
Comparative Religion: When I first got into this class I was paranoid of overly religious nuts shoving their beliefs in everyone's faces. Unfortunately, we have the opposite end of the spectrum with one particular male in our class. He's very anti-religious. He brings up good points for discussion, but he's always so rude and condescending. He never raises his hand and always interrupts someone. He's even interrupted our own professor... Nothing gets on my nerves more than this. >:[
Publication Design: Fun times! I'm pretty excited about this class, but I know it's going to be tons of hard work. Yikes. We learned about the "golden ratio" and how legit it is. Dude. Look it up. NAO.
Multimedia Design: Just as awesome and so far has been pretty laid back with no homework. Awesome.
And now you have a rough update of how I've been. Yay for stressed out Justine!! :(
So of course I'm procrastinating my current 3 assignments that are due tomorrow to update my blog!
But really though, here's my work load as of late:
1. Fliers for AOII recruitment
2. Fliers for I Spy a Pi
3. Fliers for RHA General meetings
4. Fliers for RHA'S Magic the Gathering Draft
5. Two journal responses for Comparative Religion
6. Response to letter to the editor for Publication Design
7. Accounting homework
8. Word list and color list for first project in Publication Design
9. Chapter meeting on Mondays
10. Philanthropy meeting on Wednesday
11. Work on Wednesdays
12. ERC meeting on Wednesday
13. RHA General meeting on Thursdays
And that about wraps it up for this week.
And people wonder why I can't make them a flier in a day...
Classes!
Accounting: Eh, ok. Kind of boring so I'm struggling to follow anything just because I'm so bored.
Yoga: My teacher's a hoot. She used the phrase, "it was the bomb dot com." And her ring tone is a barking dog. :)
Comparative Religion: When I first got into this class I was paranoid of overly religious nuts shoving their beliefs in everyone's faces. Unfortunately, we have the opposite end of the spectrum with one particular male in our class. He's very anti-religious. He brings up good points for discussion, but he's always so rude and condescending. He never raises his hand and always interrupts someone. He's even interrupted our own professor... Nothing gets on my nerves more than this. >:[
Publication Design: Fun times! I'm pretty excited about this class, but I know it's going to be tons of hard work. Yikes. We learned about the "golden ratio" and how legit it is. Dude. Look it up. NAO.
Multimedia Design: Just as awesome and so far has been pretty laid back with no homework. Awesome.
And now you have a rough update of how I've been. Yay for stressed out Justine!! :(
Monday, August 22, 2011
First day of Badge Attire
I know I haven't updated and I don't promise any big updates soon either unfortunately. Today was the first day of the semester for badge attire for my sorority and I was way excited. I hope you can tell. :)
I think overall I spent roughly $25 on this entire ensemble, well, besides my badges which I spent a good chunk of money on. They were totally worth it, though. :)
I must say I'm in love with my ankles. I should wear heels more often. My butt also looks rather large in that last picture... Oh my.
Shirt: Rainbow
Skirt: Etsy
Belt: Rue21 (Only $1!)
Shoes: My momma
Necklace: Rue21
Earing (Not pictured): Thrifted
I think overall I spent roughly $25 on this entire ensemble, well, besides my badges which I spent a good chunk of money on. They were totally worth it, though. :)
I must say I'm in love with my ankles. I should wear heels more often. My butt also looks rather large in that last picture... Oh my.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Temporary Hiatus
Last week was sorority recruitment week and I litterally had only a couple hours of free time the entire past week and now I'm home this week until Sunday. Lots of shopping so far that I've been home, but not a whole lot overall. Sorry, but you probably won't get many decent posts until next week.
So for now, here's the rainbow cupcakes I made last night! :)
So for now, here's the rainbow cupcakes I made last night! :)
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