It's weird having a full time job already. I'll admit I was really not expecting to land a full time job this soon. I was just so dead set on not moving back home after school, that I really didn't care what I got a job doing. I could clean cars and mow lawns if that's what it took to pay the bills. I'm not a proud person.
I wonder sometimes what it would be like still living at home with my parents though. My sister moved back home after her graduation and wasn't able to find work for like three years and has only had her job for over a year now. She's soon to be in her own apartment, but I don't think I could survive that long at home now. I butt heads with my parents too much now and have way too many conflicting views/opinions with my mother. My mom and I are both very stubborn and I think we've both learned when to pick our battles, but things still come up...
It's definitely strange though trying to adjust to working 40 hours and having way less time at home. Not like I had a whole lot of personal free time during school, but it was still more time at home working than now.
I'm worried about this job though and how long I'll last/survive. I have problems with leaving work at work. I always stress about work at home. I really need more planned activities to distract me when I'm away from work. If any of you have ideas on how to leave work at work and not think about it as much, please, feel free to tell me all about your ideas! :D
~Justine
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
New Job and Messes
So because of the funeral on Monday, I wasn't able to start my job until Tuesday. I didn't get all my paperwork until last week on Thursday since my SS card is in my safety deposit box in my hometown, and they told me it would take five work days for everything to be processed. Also, they can only start a new hire at the beginning of a pay period, which would have been now or in two weeks. Which would have been nice if they told me that sooner so then I could have gone on vacation with my family. Oh well.
Because my paperwork hadn't been completely processed until yesterday, and my supervisor didn't come in yesterday, I've had basically nothing to do. And to top it off, during the summer, campus closes on Fridays so a normal work day is ten hours. I am left with a little under ten hours to make up now... with nothing to do really.
I came in today hoping to rearrange my office. Yes, I have my own office! Unfortunately, with no window. :[
Being tiny has its advantages, but definitely not when it comes to moving furniture. I wanted to move some things around but can't because I just don't have the power to move my massive desk. I already spent what felt like an hour moving a desk down the hallway to my office and then moving another desk out. I smashed my toes several times and almost smashed my fingers. I don't have enough strength and can't get enough momentum to turn the desk right side up in one turn. I'm having to flip it over onto each side to get it back to an upright position.
I also wanted to move some of my shelves down to give some extra room for me to pull folders out. I don't have a screwdriver big enough to unscrew one shelf and the other shelf that's missing screws won't budge anyway. My office hates me. :[
So... basically this week is me cleaning around my office and playing on the interwebz. Too bad this can't be my normal day. lol
Things are going to get hectic real soon here. Uh oh.Wish me luck!
~Justine
Because my paperwork hadn't been completely processed until yesterday, and my supervisor didn't come in yesterday, I've had basically nothing to do. And to top it off, during the summer, campus closes on Fridays so a normal work day is ten hours. I am left with a little under ten hours to make up now... with nothing to do really.
I came in today hoping to rearrange my office. Yes, I have my own office! Unfortunately, with no window. :[
Being tiny has its advantages, but definitely not when it comes to moving furniture. I wanted to move some things around but can't because I just don't have the power to move my massive desk. I already spent what felt like an hour moving a desk down the hallway to my office and then moving another desk out. I smashed my toes several times and almost smashed my fingers. I don't have enough strength and can't get enough momentum to turn the desk right side up in one turn. I'm having to flip it over onto each side to get it back to an upright position.
I also wanted to move some of my shelves down to give some extra room for me to pull folders out. I don't have a screwdriver big enough to unscrew one shelf and the other shelf that's missing screws won't budge anyway. My office hates me. :[
So... basically this week is me cleaning around my office and playing on the interwebz. Too bad this can't be my normal day. lol
Things are going to get hectic real soon here. Uh oh.Wish me luck!
~Justine
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Your Voice Still Echos in the Hallway
I sincerely apologize for not updating sooner, for those who actually read this, if anyone. The last two weeks have been pretty rough.
Last Monday, I got a call early in the morning that they were wanting to do a background check for that secretary job I applied for. I was so excited! I had been starting to freak out because they said they would have sent an email the week previous about one if they were interested in me, and I never got anything. About 8 p.m. I got an email that said I had been officially offered the job. After all the stress of trying to find a job, I finally had one, and felt so much better.
About two hours later I got a pretty devastating call from a friend I hadn't talked to in a while.
I found out that my friend/ex-boyfriend passed away just that morning. We dated off and on for four years, my high school sweet heart. He was the first boyfriend I had truly considered marrying, he even gave me a promise ring on our high school graduation day. His death wasn't officially confirmed until a few hours later, but I didn't know it would hurt so bad, or that I still even cared that much. He had been suffering from nocturnal seizures the last couple of years. His family still hadn't received the autopsy report, but they assumed it was another seizure. It's still hard to talk about, even write about. It's still hard to accept that someone so young, someone I had once been so close to, could die. I was so excited about my job, but suddenly so depressed. My family took it just about as hard as me.
I know I had moved on from my relationship with him, but you can't just suddenly stop caring for someone you once had been so attached to. To be honest, he was the only boyfriend I've truly considered a best friend. I didn't want to do anything the rest of the week.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend didn't/doesn't seem to understand how I'm feeling. He kept wanting to go out and do lots of stuff and kept bugging me for sex. I'm sorry, sex does not make me feel better like it does for him. He would act like everything was normal and okay. Just because I'm not crying does not mean I feel great, or even okay. I'd get easily upset (mad, sad, etc.) and I just wanted someone to comfort me. He took all my emotions personally like they were directed at him, which some were, but most of them were just my confusion, anger, and sorrow manifesting whenever they could. I just wanted him to understand and be there for me, and it seemed like more often he just really didn't care. And the more he didn't care, the more I missed my ex and the relationship we had.
I started to think more about what might have happened if we had gotten back together (again). I started to wonder if maybe I should have stayed with him. I was just so lost and hurt. I still kind of am.
His funeral was this past Monday. The man who spoke was the pastor from their church, a place I didn't care much for. He's one of those in-your-face, yelling pastors. His funeral was pretty much just another sermon for this pastor. It made me frustrated. I wanted to hear about Will (that's his name), his life, and what a good person he really was. We didn't get much of that.
His family is pretty religious and they seemed to be accepting his death pretty well. I think I felt the worst for his girlfriend though. Most of us had never met her. She really didn't know anyone. She just stood around awkwardly. I don't think I ever saw her cry, either, not to say she wasn't upset because everyone goes through the mourning process differently. It was just kind of sad to watch her stand there by herself, and I didn't exactly want to introduce myself for the first time at the funeral, especially being the ex he dated the longest.
I'm slowly starting to feel better, but I feel like no matter what, everything reminds me of him. I've never lost anyone this close to me before, besides pets, and I just don't know what to expect from myself.
This post is long enough as is, so I'll post later about my job and all the nothingness I've done.
~Justine
Last Monday, I got a call early in the morning that they were wanting to do a background check for that secretary job I applied for. I was so excited! I had been starting to freak out because they said they would have sent an email the week previous about one if they were interested in me, and I never got anything. About 8 p.m. I got an email that said I had been officially offered the job. After all the stress of trying to find a job, I finally had one, and felt so much better.
About two hours later I got a pretty devastating call from a friend I hadn't talked to in a while.
I found out that my friend/ex-boyfriend passed away just that morning. We dated off and on for four years, my high school sweet heart. He was the first boyfriend I had truly considered marrying, he even gave me a promise ring on our high school graduation day. His death wasn't officially confirmed until a few hours later, but I didn't know it would hurt so bad, or that I still even cared that much. He had been suffering from nocturnal seizures the last couple of years. His family still hadn't received the autopsy report, but they assumed it was another seizure. It's still hard to talk about, even write about. It's still hard to accept that someone so young, someone I had once been so close to, could die. I was so excited about my job, but suddenly so depressed. My family took it just about as hard as me.
I know I had moved on from my relationship with him, but you can't just suddenly stop caring for someone you once had been so attached to. To be honest, he was the only boyfriend I've truly considered a best friend. I didn't want to do anything the rest of the week.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend didn't/doesn't seem to understand how I'm feeling. He kept wanting to go out and do lots of stuff and kept bugging me for sex. I'm sorry, sex does not make me feel better like it does for him. He would act like everything was normal and okay. Just because I'm not crying does not mean I feel great, or even okay. I'd get easily upset (mad, sad, etc.) and I just wanted someone to comfort me. He took all my emotions personally like they were directed at him, which some were, but most of them were just my confusion, anger, and sorrow manifesting whenever they could. I just wanted him to understand and be there for me, and it seemed like more often he just really didn't care. And the more he didn't care, the more I missed my ex and the relationship we had.
I started to think more about what might have happened if we had gotten back together (again). I started to wonder if maybe I should have stayed with him. I was just so lost and hurt. I still kind of am.
His funeral was this past Monday. The man who spoke was the pastor from their church, a place I didn't care much for. He's one of those in-your-face, yelling pastors. His funeral was pretty much just another sermon for this pastor. It made me frustrated. I wanted to hear about Will (that's his name), his life, and what a good person he really was. We didn't get much of that.
His family is pretty religious and they seemed to be accepting his death pretty well. I think I felt the worst for his girlfriend though. Most of us had never met her. She really didn't know anyone. She just stood around awkwardly. I don't think I ever saw her cry, either, not to say she wasn't upset because everyone goes through the mourning process differently. It was just kind of sad to watch her stand there by herself, and I didn't exactly want to introduce myself for the first time at the funeral, especially being the ex he dated the longest.
I'm slowly starting to feel better, but I feel like no matter what, everything reminds me of him. I've never lost anyone this close to me before, besides pets, and I just don't know what to expect from myself.
This post is long enough as is, so I'll post later about my job and all the nothingness I've done.
~Justine
Thursday, July 12, 2012
H3LP
I know I don't have a whole lot of followers, but I know I would appreciate those that do find this to help out someone I know from school, a fellow Greek and Graphic Design student.
"Saturday night July 7, 2012 Taron was involved in a horrific life changing accident. While celebrating the marriage of his cousin, he had a commercial grade firework explode into the left side of his face completely destroying it.
He was life flighted to Saint Francis hospital in Tulsa where they decided they could not provide the care he was going to require. He is now at the OU Medical Center in OKC where he is still in the Trauma ICU in a medically induced coma.
Here he will be undergoing many, many surgeries to reconstruct the entire left side of his face. This process will take several months, several very painful months. We have complete faith in the surgeons abilities to put the pieces back together so we’ll have our gorgeous Taron back again!
This is a group created to help raise money in order to support Taron throughout his numerous surgeries and extremely long recovery process and to keep everyone updated on his progress. The support we have already received from everyone is absolutely unbelievable!!! We cannot stress enough how much it means to us and how thankful we are for each and every one of your thoughts and prayers.
Tarons sister, Lydia Pounds, has set up a PayPal account in his honor for anyone who would like to make a donation to help with this long healing process and future medical expenses. Every donation, $1 to $100 or more will be appreciated!
Instructions to make a donation:
-Go to: www.paypal.com
-Move your pointer over to "Transfer" and click on "Send Someone Money"
-Enter your e-mail in the "From" box
-Enter taronpoundsrecoveryfund@gmail.com in the "To" box
-Click "Continue" and everything else is pretty simple from there."
"Saturday night July 7, 2012 Taron was involved in a horrific life changing accident. While celebrating the marriage of his cousin, he had a commercial grade firework explode into the left side of his face completely destroying it.
He was life flighted to Saint Francis hospital in Tulsa where they decided they could not provide the care he was going to require. He is now at the OU Medical Center in OKC where he is still in the Trauma ICU in a medically induced coma.
Here he will be undergoing many, many surgeries to reconstruct the entire left side of his face. This process will take several months, several very painful months. We have complete faith in the surgeons abilities to put the pieces back together so we’ll have our gorgeous Taron back again!
This is a group created to help raise money in order to support Taron throughout his numerous surgeries and extremely long recovery process and to keep everyone updated on his progress. The support we have already received from everyone is absolutely unbelievable!!! We cannot stress enough how much it means to us and how thankful we are for each and every one of your thoughts and prayers.
Tarons sister, Lydia Pounds, has set up a PayPal account in his honor for anyone who would like to make a donation to help with this long healing process and future medical expenses. Every donation, $1 to $100 or more will be appreciated!
Instructions to make a donation:
-Go to: www.paypal.com
-Move your pointer over to "Transfer" and click on "Send Someone Money"
-Enter your e-mail in the "From" box
-Enter taronpoundsrecoveryfund@gmail.com in the "To" box
-Click "Continue" and everything else is pretty simple from there."
He's a really great guy and it's terrible what happened. I know their family could use as much help as possible during this time.
To update about myself, walking's getting better. We've managed to make 5 miles in an hour and a half now, we're pretty excited. I'm trying my best to stay away from ridiculous sweets and eat more fruits and veggies.
For the job situation, I still haven't heard anything back from the secretary position. I have been praying that if I don't get the job that it's for a good reason and that something better will come along. Well, maybe it has. My boyfriend's coworker is really good friends with the owner of a local sign shop. Apparently, they're hiring but not advertising the position and my boyfriend's coworker said she would put in a good word for me. Crossing my fingers.
Nothing super entertaining on my end, but I'll try to update with some fashion or recipes soon. And again, please help my friend if at all possible, even a dollar or two will help them out.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Motivation
Having a hard time feeling motivated to do much of anything lately. Lack of motivation especially to update my blog.
I've started a walking routine of sorts with a friend, that I admit I almost decided I didn't want to last night. It was amusing because my friend and I both had the same thought that if we didn't go we would be more tempted to stop altogether. We ended up walking the longest so far! 4.23 miles in an hour and twenty minutes. I am beginning to have issues with my knees after walking though. Maybe I just need better shoes. I am hoping though that eventually we can both build up enough stamina and strength to start jogging/running.
Also, I just graduated in May and I'm having trouble finding a job. I did land an interview for a secretary position at the school. I'm crossing my fingers that I get the job. I think my interview went pretty well. Some of my interviewers knew my grandpa, everyone seemed impressed that I had worked in Housing, and I had some pretty good references, so I'm hoping these all might bump my chances up and put me higher up on the ladder for hiring. I really want this job, even if it is completely unrelated to my degree, lol.
I've found out a lot more joy in cooking and baking recently which makes me feel better about my future mommy/wife abilities, lol. It doesn't help though having a boyfriend who's a cook for a steakhouse who seems to be constantly judging my cooking abilities. One day, maybe, I'll surpass his abilities. lol.
Looks like I'm more motivated in areas I never was before, but totally not motivated in areas I once was. Maybe things will improve soon.
I've started a walking routine of sorts with a friend, that I admit I almost decided I didn't want to last night. It was amusing because my friend and I both had the same thought that if we didn't go we would be more tempted to stop altogether. We ended up walking the longest so far! 4.23 miles in an hour and twenty minutes. I am beginning to have issues with my knees after walking though. Maybe I just need better shoes. I am hoping though that eventually we can both build up enough stamina and strength to start jogging/running.
Also, I just graduated in May and I'm having trouble finding a job. I did land an interview for a secretary position at the school. I'm crossing my fingers that I get the job. I think my interview went pretty well. Some of my interviewers knew my grandpa, everyone seemed impressed that I had worked in Housing, and I had some pretty good references, so I'm hoping these all might bump my chances up and put me higher up on the ladder for hiring. I really want this job, even if it is completely unrelated to my degree, lol.
I've found out a lot more joy in cooking and baking recently which makes me feel better about my future mommy/wife abilities, lol. It doesn't help though having a boyfriend who's a cook for a steakhouse who seems to be constantly judging my cooking abilities. One day, maybe, I'll surpass his abilities. lol.
Looks like I'm more motivated in areas I never was before, but totally not motivated in areas I once was. Maybe things will improve soon.
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